How It Shows Up
Benching typically looks like: enthusiastic conversations that never turn into plans; being told "I really like you" paired with continued unavailability; showing renewed interest exactly when you start pulling away; irregular contact that intensifies when you seem less interested. The person wants to preserve the option without investing in it.
How to Respond
The most useful move is to require consistency. Someone who is genuinely interested makes plans, follows through, and shows up consistently — not just when you're about to disappear. If the interest only surfaces when you're pulling back, that's information about their motivation.
You can address it directly: "I like talking to you but I've noticed things don't seem to move forward — are you actually looking for something here?" The answer (or the evasion) will tell you what you need to know.